Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Living... Being and Doing your Best!

I have been thinking a lot about my Getting-to-10 Challenge. I have come to realize that it is really about living, being and doing my best in all areas of my life. There is no reason to half do anything. The ONLY way to get to 10 is to GIVE 10 as in 10/10... 100%! It is the age old principle, if you want it give it. In what areas are you short changing your life because you are not putting in 100% effort? It may be your marriage, career, friendships, personal appearance or organization that is suffering because you have chosen to live in a state of toleration and apathy.

Today's Heidi-ism: "There are no limitations holding me back only excuses that will eventually become footholds for my failures!" Today I choose to LIVE, BE and DO my BEST!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Shed the Shroud

Today I came to the harsh realization that my size 16 clothes are a shroud that I am ready to shed.  I cannot feel good about myself here.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate who I am as a person or that I don't realize my intrinsic value.  I do...and I LOVE ME.  It is because of the love that I have for myself that I must get out of this size 16. 

These clothes keep me in the shadow of my own life.  There is no joy living in the shadow.  Please understand it is not the clothes themselves.... it is what they represent to me.  Everyone has an ideal.  An ideal size, weight, job, style, schedule.... when we choose to repeatedly live outside of our ideal our best self steps more in the shadows.  The more we choose to live in the shadow the easier it is to settle when the next thing presents itself. 

These clothes represent death to me.  Death of my healthy self.  Death of my sexy self.  Death of my athletic self.  Death of the healthy self image that I have always had.  This is not me. These clothes don't represent who I am or who I want to be. 

 Today, before me is death and life and I choose LIFE! 

What is it that you need to shed? 

Monday, August 16, 2010

Transparency About My Weight?????

This is really challenging for me because like most women I'd rather give you my SS# than my weight and size.  Why is is that there is sooooo much shame around our bodies?  I mean any woman can look at me and guess my size/weight.  By keeping it a secret what do I really think I'm hiding?  I've always believed we are only as sick as our secrets.  If there is that much shame in my size I need to do something about it. 

In EAT PRAY LOVE there was a great moment when one of the characters was worried about her weight and her friend ask he if she'd ever gotten naked in front of a man and he complained.  My husband says all the time that the weight stuff is our issue, not men's.  On the other hand I see the women that my husband comment about and they are not a size 16 like me so how can I think that my size is OK with him, because it is NOT OK with me!  At the end of the day I guess that's what this journey really is about... being OK with me... with my size/weight, my outlook, my health, ME! 

If you are not A-OK with you I invite you to join me on this fabulous Getting-to-10 Quest!  Already I'm seeing so much more than my weight shift... I'm becoming more mindful.  But that's a conversation for another day.  For today I am going to be naked with you my reader and share with you that I am a size 16 and 208.8 lbs!  That's it.  I did it!  Painful? Yes.  Permanent? NO!!!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Getting-to-10 Overview

Getting-to-10 Challenge Overview

Several of you have said you want to join the challenge and want more details.  So here you go....
Getting-to-10 is a personal Continuous Quality Improvement (CQI) program. I began this journey seeking to get back to a size 10 because for me because that is where I feel my best. Then I realized that it is important to strive to be at my best in every area of my life and while my weight is what I am currently working on… living my best... living my Divine Ideal and helping others get to theirs is what I am called to do.

Principles of the Getting-to-10 Challenge

1. Admit- The first step to change is recognizing that you are not at your best. When you admit that changes is needed you open the door for change to happen.

2. Commit – If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you really want to see change in your life you must commit to making changes. So once the door is open you must walk through it. Knowing is only half the battle.

3. Submit - The 3rd and final principal has duel meaning. First we encourage you to submit your progress by making a post on the board at least weekly. This is how our community is created and accountability is fostered. In addition I strongly believe that in order to achieve your best life or as I like to call it your Divine Ideal, you must submit to a Higher Authority. Ask God to reveal the vision that he has for your life to you. Surrender to His vision. Purpose every day to make that vision a reality.

 Getting-to-10 Challenge TO DO

• Identify your Divine Ideal- God has a specific plan for you… and not just for some parts of you but for ALL of you. Pray and meditate and determine one area at a time that you want to work on.

o Cast the Vision- My two favorite tools for this are a Future Letter and a Vision Board/Book. These 2 exercises are extremely complimentary and I suggest that they be done together. Contact me for instructions.

o Write out your Divine Ideal Vision- What is the life that you believe God has for you to live?

o Read your letter weekly and view board daily for inspiration. As you read and view really SEE yourself.

• Identify your why- Along this journey it is going to be very challenging. There will be many obstacle and barriers and you will have days that you want to quit. During those moments, there has to be something that is driving you to press on. That is your Why? And your why must be bigger and deeper than any barrier that will come your way.

o Write an affirmation that speaks to your why that you will repeat daily.

 Writing out your values can often help you get to your why

• Devise a Plan- Once you know what your ultimate goal is you can begin with the end in mind. What daily and weekly actions are necessary for you to achieve your ideal?

o Use a calendar to plot your desired milestones.

o Divide your life into areas that can be worked on one at a time. (health, finances, relationships, spiritual, mental, emotional well being, Things you want to… Do-Have-Be)

o What 3 things do you need to do for change to occur in this area of your life? Share those 3 things in your post.

• Journal and post your progress – the success of this program is in transparency and accountability. As a member of the G2-10 Challenge you are seeking to live God’s purpose for your life and are combining your energies with that of all the other like-minded members. In your post I encourage you to:

o State your weekly goal

o Share your victories and challenges

o Open your heart and mind for feedback

o Only post positive, encouraging and non-judgmental feedback on the boards.

• Know and Equip yourself- Take some time to take a long look at yourself. If you haven’t already done so take a few personality tests. When you really know who you are you best position yourself for success. If your Ideal is to be organized and you are a night person, don’t plan to get up at 5am to clean and sort. Lastly, I’m a firm believer in having the right tools for the job. This has lead to me being quite the techie-girl. Nonetheless, having the right tools for the job makes it so much easier. So consider what tools/resources you will need to Get-to-10.
The items listed above are things that I think will give you the best chance for success in Getting-to-10. This program is a work in progress so I welcome your feedback. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

Getting-To-10 Weekly Weigh In-1

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's NO Secret!!!

So today I decided to treat myself to 3 pairs of pretty lacy panties.  I actually went into Victoria's Secret to purchase something for someone else when I was wooed into looking at all the pretty little panties.  Now let me note here that at one point in my not so distant past all I wore were pretty little matching pantie and bra sets.  That being said, for the last 4 years I have either been pregnant or nursing and my sets look like they belong to someone else.  As a part of my reclamation program, I am trying to bring my sexy back.... and what better place to start than Victoria's Secret...RIGHT???

WRONG!!!! The 3 "little" pairs of panties are.... I'm actually at a loss for words, which I know for a "blogger" is not good.  Let's just say that I was mortified when I tried them on at home.  Now the cute little lady in the store assured me that their new lace panties and thongs were one size fit all.  YEAH RIGHT.  And a part of the lure is the names of everything..."Very Sexy" and "Sexy Little Thing" and I must say I was actually seduced.  Seduced my the absolutely crazy notion that I would actually be sexy in these little things.  Not that I could not get them on but sexy would not be the word that I would use to describe how I looked in them. 

After all, who was I trying to fool.  It's no secret.... Victoria Secret is not for plus size women.  I hate the way that makes me feel.  I hate that I AM plus sized.  But this will be the fuel that I use to get my plus size butt to the gym tomorrow.  It will be the fuel that I used to continue to be mindful of my calories.  And when I am able to once again fit in the "Very Sexy" thong it will be the motivation to never be in this place again!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Only had time for a 544 calorie workout this morning but I am going to the pool with the babies this afternoon. My ultimate goal is to burn 1000 calories
a day via intentional exercise.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Getting to 10-DAY 3 Update

I LOVE THE BODYBUGG!! OK, so prior to now I have not given much thought about calories. I believed that if I worked out I could eat just about what I wanted. After all.. I'm not an "unhealthy" eater. Yeah... right!!! Add this to the list of lies that we tell ourselves to make us feel better about who we are and what we do.

Having the BodyBugg has mad me mindful. What a gift!!! Not only of what I put in but also what I expend. Weight loss is simple. Consistently having a deficit in calories will result in losing weight. I feared that I would feel "boxed in" by the BB. But actually it has given me a new found freedom... INFORMATION. They say if you know better you will do better. Now I KNOW. I know how many calories I'm burning and how many I'm taking in. Therefore I can choose my pleasures!!! If I wanna be naughty and have the Caribou Milk Chocolate Campfire Mocha at a whopping 720 calories than I know that I must go easy and light for the rest of the day.

If you tend to be OCD this device is NOT for you. But for those of us that are kinda laid back when it come to weight loss and consequently have experience weight gain this is a really cool tool.

I must also confess that the techie-girl that I am loves playing with this gadget. Now my weak spot is consistency... I hope that I can remain faithful wearing it and logging all my info until I have met my goal of getting into a size 10!
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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Getting to 10 - Prologue

Hi Everyone,

This will be my first attempt at blogging.  A goal that I've had since January of this year.  I think I'm just really figuring the whole blogging process out.  I have had many fears and questions but I've decided to just jump out there- in true Heidi form.  Well the strange thing is that I feel so very vulnerable.  Perhaps it is because I feel that my flawed writing will be exposed or maybe it is the topic that I've chosen to blog... WEIGHT!!

I am currently a size 16.  I never thought I'd be here.  In truth I might have been close to this size in my freshman year in college.  Yeah, my "freshman 15" really got out of control. My goal is to get to a size 10. I know for some that may still seem "too big" but for me that is perfect!   I've never been someone to caught up on numbers... weight, fat%, or even dress size.  However, I think this has allowed me to stay in denial during those times when I was actually gaining wait.  I have a large frame as evidence by my size 11 shoe.  But I can no longer hide behind the excuse of being "big-boned."  LOL!! I'm overweight and if I don't get a handle on this now I'm not for sure where this insanity will end. 

This weight gain started with the birth of my 2nd son that I nursed almost solely until he was 11 months old.  Talk about eating for 2!!!! Instead of making healthy choice to boost my caloric intake I ate whatever I could my hands on.  I need to go back and check my weight prior to having any babies to get an accurate picture of where I was vs. where I am.  I am a techie girl so I will be using the BodyBugg as my guide along this rocky path.  If you have one please let me know how it works for you.  If you are thinking about getting one and have questions feel free to send them my way. 

Weight, size, body image are a sensitive areas.  My goal  is to be authentic and transparent on this journey.  I thank you for reading this post.  I welcome your questions and comments.  I hope that as the days go by I will get better and better at articulating my experiences thoughts and feelings in this manner. 

P.S.  I also will be be doing video bloggs as well.  Yeah, this should be very interesting...