Monday, October 11, 2010
This upcoming event has give me reason to push myself into Turbo Mode! I want to push my body to see just how much I can loose in 2 weeks. The fact that I have already lost 15 lbs makes me feel better about this rather drastic endeavor. On the other hand, perhaps this is just the motivation I need to reignite my fire.
Whatever the case I am on a 2 day detox from Arden's Gardens and when this is over I plan to step away from my "happy eating" lifestyle change and eat like a woman on a mission to really get the weight off for the next two weeks. No more ice cream or amazing Campfire Mochas for me! Nope! I'm eating green and clean for the next 2 weeks and we will see how my body responds.
I'm half way through my first day and so far I'm OK... the other beautiful part of detoxing for me right now is it bring me back to the importance of mindful eating... not cleaning the left overs off the baby's plate or grabbing the free sample in the grocery store. I am at a place of choice and today my choice is to sacrifice in hopes of a leaner tomorrow!
Friday, October 8, 2010
GOAL: to lose 2.0 lbs/wk Which would have resulted in: 18 lbs as of today.
ACTUAL: Lost 1.17 lbs/wk resulting in a total of 15.4 lbs as of today.
Do I feel bad that I have not reached my goal?? Not really. Of course it would be great to have lost more weight but guess what??? I am losing weight! Never before in my life have I set out to lose weight by focusing on exercise and diet!
My husband says, that it is better to be happy and take the weight off slow than to be miserable and skinny fast. Now, surely this is a man's perspective... a man that would have to live with me the "skinny B!" However, to his point, what he is referring to is a common mistake that many make on this weight loss journey.... deprivation. I have not deprived myself during this process. I have enjoyed the foods that make me happy and bring me a modicum of comfort... but I have enjoyed them in moderation. I use my BodyBugg to see just how much indulging I can do and I take the weekends off from my program.
You may say, Heidi if you are serious about losing weight you would be more strict. Honestly I'm serious about lifestyle changes. And guess what?? I could live like this for the rest of my life! So the end result is slow and steady weight loss. I may not be exactly making my goals in the time I'd like to but at the end of the day... I'm Happy!!!
Monday, September 20, 2010
My epiphany about my "failure" came to my as I walked into the kitchen and noticed a dirt pile from sweeping the floor - 20 mins before, then in my office there were papers that were sorted but never filed, emails were started but never sent, my clothes were washed -- 2 days ago and thus had mildewed. The stench of my supposed to be clean clothes was a reminder of the funk that my nasty habit of not finishing things leaves in my life. How can I strive for my best and leave soooooo many things undone. Yes, I'm ADD also known as a "global thinker" but when will I make the necessary changes to move into greatness in all areas???
The battle with my weight loss is no different. It is about being consistent and staying in it for the long haul. I thank you all for your comments, feedback and ultimately holding me responsible. This week I am committing to stay the course, make my numbers, log my food and put in my sweat at the gym. I owe it to myself. As Anderson Cooper says.. you're keeping me honest. But after all who am I really fooling anyway???
Friday, September 10, 2010
In many ways I feel like I am in the midst of an identity crisis! My old way of life is no longer working for me. The proof is in the pudding or perhaps more appropriately I should say the proof is in the pooch in my tummy. As a result, I have had to create my own paradigm shift. No, I don't want to be the calorie obsessed gym rat that can't find joy in life for fear of gaining a pound, but neither do I want to be the heavy girl that is steadily gaining and is unhappy her skin. Surely there has to be a balance. Surely I can find a happy medium somehow.
This journey of Getting-to-10 is about finding and living that balance. Today is my weekly weigh in and I lost 1.6 pounds. I didn't get to workout everyday as I would have liked. I enjoyed Labor Day festivities that included lots of eating but I was still able to lose weight. Why? Because I was mindful about my choices. No matter what your current status is, we are where we are in life because of the choices that we have made. Don't like where you are??? Start today making different choices. If nothing changes... nothing changes. Maybe "that girl" knows that it is better to make good choices on the front end then to lament the results on the back end. In some ways maybe that is just the girl that I want to be!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The holiday weekend was interesting. Let's just say I enjoyed my food! I didn't pigout but neither did I really count calories either. It began with cheesecake on Saturday, a barbecue on Sunday (along with a french toast breakfast) and leftovers on Monday! Somehow on Monday I was still able to eek out a small deficit. I tried to play a game of Ultimate Frisbee for my Sunday-Slimdown activity but we couldn't get enough people to play. I was really counting on that to counter alllllll my eating! Lesson learned: have a backup plan!
Today, was kinda rough too. Emotionally I have been struggling and not feeling very motivated to workout. However, I ate very sensibly and I did go to a dance class tonight at the gym. From the time class started until now I have burned 574 calories... Now here is another thing my nifty little BodyBugg has taught me. The benefit of working out in the morning is that you continue to burn calories well after your workout. For an example. My class ended about an hour ago yet I'm still burning about 6.2 calories per min. This is super cool to know. It also stands to reason that you can get more bang for your buck working out in the morning.
Hopefully, this week I can maintain my goal of losing 2lbs per week. If not, what I realize that this is not about a day, a weekend or a month it is all about the journey. They journey toward my ideal life.... my ideal size The journey of Getting-to-10!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I have been thinking a lot about my Getting-to-10 Challenge. I have come to realize that it is really about living, being and doing my best in all areas of my life. There is no reason to half do anything. The ONLY way to get to 10 is to GIVE 10 as in 10/10... 100%! It is the age old principle, if you want it give it. In what areas are you short changing your life because you are not putting in 100% effort? It may be your marriage, career, friendships, personal appearance or organization that is suffering because you have chosen to live in a state of toleration and apathy.
Today's Heidi-ism: "There are no limitations holding me back only excuses that will eventually become footholds for my failures!" Today I choose to LIVE, BE and DO my BEST!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
These clothes keep me in the shadow of my own life. There is no joy living in the shadow. Please understand it is not the clothes themselves.... it is what they represent to me. Everyone has an ideal. An ideal size, weight, job, style, schedule.... when we choose to repeatedly live outside of our ideal our best self steps more in the shadows. The more we choose to live in the shadow the easier it is to settle when the next thing presents itself.
These clothes represent death to me. Death of my healthy self. Death of my sexy self. Death of my athletic self. Death of the healthy self image that I have always had. This is not me. These clothes don't represent who I am or who I want to be.
Today, before me is death and life and I choose LIFE!
What is it that you need to shed?
Friday, August 20, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
In EAT PRAY LOVE there was a great moment when one of the characters was worried about her weight and her friend ask he if she'd ever gotten naked in front of a man and he complained. My husband says all the time that the weight stuff is our issue, not men's. On the other hand I see the women that my husband comment about and they are not a size 16 like me so how can I think that my size is OK with him, because it is NOT OK with me! At the end of the day I guess that's what this journey really is about... being OK with me... with my size/weight, my outlook, my health, ME!
If you are not A-OK with you I invite you to join me on this fabulous Getting-to-10 Quest! Already I'm seeing so much more than my weight shift... I'm becoming more mindful. But that's a conversation for another day. For today I am going to be naked with you my reader and share with you that I am a size 16 and 208.8 lbs! That's it. I did it! Painful? Yes. Permanent? NO!!!!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Several of you have said you want to join the challenge and want more details. So here you go....
Getting-to-10 is a personal Continuous Quality Improvement (CQI) program. I began this journey seeking to get back to a size 10 because for me because that is where I feel my best. Then I realized that it is important to strive to be at my best in every area of my life and while my weight is what I am currently working on… living my best... living my Divine Ideal and helping others get to theirs is what I am called to do.
Principles of the Getting-to-10 Challenge
1. Admit- The first step to change is recognizing that you are not at your best. When you admit that changes is needed you open the door for change to happen.
2. Commit – If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you really want to see change in your life you must commit to making changes. So once the door is open you must walk through it. Knowing is only half the battle.
3. Submit - The 3rd and final principal has duel meaning. First we encourage you to submit your progress by making a post on the board at least weekly. This is how our community is created and accountability is fostered. In addition I strongly believe that in order to achieve your best life or as I like to call it your Divine Ideal, you must submit to a Higher Authority. Ask God to reveal the vision that he has for your life to you. Surrender to His vision. Purpose every day to make that vision a reality.
Getting-to-10 Challenge TO DO
• Identify your Divine Ideal- God has a specific plan for you… and not just for some parts of you but for ALL of you. Pray and meditate and determine one area at a time that you want to work on.
o Cast the Vision- My two favorite tools for this are a Future Letter and a Vision Board/Book. These 2 exercises are extremely complimentary and I suggest that they be done together. Contact me for instructions.
o Write out your Divine Ideal Vision- What is the life that you believe God has for you to live?
o Read your letter weekly and view board daily for inspiration. As you read and view really SEE yourself.
• Identify your why- Along this journey it is going to be very challenging. There will be many obstacle and barriers and you will have days that you want to quit. During those moments, there has to be something that is driving you to press on. That is your Why? And your why must be bigger and deeper than any barrier that will come your way.
o Write an affirmation that speaks to your why that you will repeat daily.
Writing out your values can often help you get to your why
• Devise a Plan- Once you know what your ultimate goal is you can begin with the end in mind. What daily and weekly actions are necessary for you to achieve your ideal?
o Use a calendar to plot your desired milestones.
o Divide your life into areas that can be worked on one at a time. (health, finances, relationships, spiritual, mental, emotional well being, Things you want to… Do-Have-Be)
o What 3 things do you need to do for change to occur in this area of your life? Share those 3 things in your post.
• Journal and post your progress – the success of this program is in transparency and accountability. As a member of the G2-10 Challenge you are seeking to live God’s purpose for your life and are combining your energies with that of all the other like-minded members. In your post I encourage you to:
o State your weekly goal
o Share your victories and challenges
o Open your heart and mind for feedback
o Only post positive, encouraging and non-judgmental feedback on the boards.
• Know and Equip yourself- Take some time to take a long look at yourself. If you haven’t already done so take a few personality tests. When you really know who you are you best position yourself for success. If your Ideal is to be organized and you are a night person, don’t plan to get up at 5am to clean and sort. Lastly, I’m a firm believer in having the right tools for the job. This has lead to me being quite the techie-girl. Nonetheless, having the right tools for the job makes it so much easier. So consider what tools/resources you will need to Get-to-10.
The items listed above are things that I think will give you the best chance for success in Getting-to-10. This program is a work in progress so I welcome your feedback. Thank you for joining me on this journey!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
WRONG!!!! The 3 "little" pairs of panties are.... I'm actually at a loss for words, which I know for a "blogger" is not good. Let's just say that I was mortified when I tried them on at home. Now the cute little lady in the store assured me that their new lace panties and thongs were one size fit all. YEAH RIGHT. And a part of the lure is the names of everything..."Very Sexy" and "Sexy Little Thing" and I must say I was actually seduced. Seduced my the absolutely crazy notion that I would actually be sexy in these little things. Not that I could not get them on but sexy would not be the word that I would use to describe how I looked in them.
After all, who was I trying to fool. It's no secret.... Victoria Secret is not for plus size women. I hate the way that makes me feel. I hate that I AM plus sized. But this will be the fuel that I use to get my plus size butt to the gym tomorrow. It will be the fuel that I used to continue to be mindful of my calories. And when I am able to once again fit in the "Very Sexy" thong it will be the motivation to never be in this place again!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Having the BodyBugg has mad me mindful. What a gift!!! Not only of what I put in but also what I expend. Weight loss is simple. Consistently having a deficit in calories will result in losing weight. I feared that I would feel "boxed in" by the BB. But actually it has given me a new found freedom... INFORMATION. They say if you know better you will do better. Now I KNOW. I know how many calories I'm burning and how many I'm taking in. Therefore I can choose my pleasures!!! If I wanna be naughty and have the Caribou Milk Chocolate Campfire Mocha at a whopping 720 calories than I know that I must go easy and light for the rest of the day.
If you tend to be OCD this device is NOT for you. But for those of us that are kinda laid back when it come to weight loss and consequently have experience weight gain this is a really cool tool.
I must also confess that the techie-girl that I am loves playing with this gadget. Now my weak spot is consistency... I hope that I can remain faithful wearing it and logging all my info until I have met my goal of getting into a size 10!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
This will be my first attempt at blogging. A goal that I've had since January of this year. I think I'm just really figuring the whole blogging process out. I have had many fears and questions but I've decided to just jump out there- in true Heidi form. Well the strange thing is that I feel so very vulnerable. Perhaps it is because I feel that my flawed writing will be exposed or maybe it is the topic that I've chosen to blog... WEIGHT!!
I am currently a size 16. I never thought I'd be here. In truth I might have been close to this size in my freshman year in college. Yeah, my "freshman 15" really got out of control. My goal is to get to a size 10. I know for some that may still seem "too big" but for me that is perfect! I've never been someone to caught up on numbers... weight, fat%, or even dress size. However, I think this has allowed me to stay in denial during those times when I was actually gaining wait. I have a large frame as evidence by my size 11 shoe. But I can no longer hide behind the excuse of being "big-boned." LOL!! I'm overweight and if I don't get a handle on this now I'm not for sure where this insanity will end.
This weight gain started with the birth of my 2nd son that I nursed almost solely until he was 11 months old. Talk about eating for 2!!!! Instead of making healthy choice to boost my caloric intake I ate whatever I could my hands on. I need to go back and check my weight prior to having any babies to get an accurate picture of where I was vs. where I am. I am a techie girl so I will be using the BodyBugg as my guide along this rocky path. If you have one please let me know how it works for you. If you are thinking about getting one and have questions feel free to send them my way.
Weight, size, body image are a sensitive areas. My goal is to be authentic and transparent on this journey. I thank you for reading this post. I welcome your questions and comments. I hope that as the days go by I will get better and better at articulating my experiences thoughts and feelings in this manner.
P.S. I also will be be doing video bloggs as well. Yeah, this should be very interesting...