Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Shed the Shroud

Today I came to the harsh realization that my size 16 clothes are a shroud that I am ready to shed.  I cannot feel good about myself here.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate who I am as a person or that I don't realize my intrinsic value.  I do...and I LOVE ME.  It is because of the love that I have for myself that I must get out of this size 16. 

These clothes keep me in the shadow of my own life.  There is no joy living in the shadow.  Please understand it is not the clothes themselves.... it is what they represent to me.  Everyone has an ideal.  An ideal size, weight, job, style, schedule.... when we choose to repeatedly live outside of our ideal our best self steps more in the shadows.  The more we choose to live in the shadow the easier it is to settle when the next thing presents itself. 

These clothes represent death to me.  Death of my healthy self.  Death of my sexy self.  Death of my athletic self.  Death of the healthy self image that I have always had.  This is not me. These clothes don't represent who I am or who I want to be. 

 Today, before me is death and life and I choose LIFE! 

What is it that you need to shed? 


  1. Heidi, you are one brave woman! What are you doing most? Are you dieting? exercising with a trainer? both? keep me posted on what works. My biggest challenge is staying motivated. Clothes turned into my motivation and worked harder just to get into the outfits! My husband is a strength coach and is always telling me that weight bearing exercises help burn fat quickly.

    good luck I love reading your blogs! take care of you and yours.

  2. Heidi.. Carbs will kill you.

  3. Hey Karen, I decided that I needed to be brave not just for myself but for the countless others in the struggle. I do NOT believe in dieting. Neither am I one to watch carbs or fat or whatever...

    I am using the BodyBugg device which I am loving. Losing weight is about calories. If you are at a daily deficit you will lose weight. The BB allows me to know exactly how many calories I am expending and consuming in a day.

    So far so good. My daily goals are to burn 2800 calories in a day and consume 1800. This leaves me with a 1000 calorie deficit which amounts to loosing 2lbs per week. On average 10lbs represents a dress size. By the end of this year I will be in a size 10!

  4. You go Heidi!!! I actually wanna be in a size 10 as well..I feel you. You are encouraging me to write on my health blog. its been a few months!!! woohoo!

  5. forgot to mention that I've lost 25 pds so far doing weight watchers...

  6. Sandy that is GREAT! I am so very proud of you. Weight Watchers operates on the same principle as the BodyBugg. I know you must feel great about yourself.

    How many more pounds do you have to go?